As a follow-on to the previous post written quite a while back, the city whose spirit never breaks saw people come out of their fears in ways which showed their upbringing - even ones of which society disapproves.
The day after it was announced that all those held hostage had been released, it was time for everyone to breath easy. I did my usual train routine to Bandra where I worked and the first thing I was privy to as soon as my feet touched the platform of this hip part of the city - catcalling or 'eve-teasing' as we call it in India and 'street harassment' as known everywhere.
It was then that it struck me, what I should have realised years ago. Street harassment stems from a low self-esteem and these men were doing it to raise their confidence. The confidence which had hit rock bottom on knowing that major haunts in the city, viz Taj, CST and Colaba were in the clutches of terrorists, and it would only be a matter of time that these men, dressed in black would break in and terrorize them. They must be trembling in their homes throughout the incident. I actually pitied them.
And here I was thinking that it was my fault. Thinking: maybe it was the way I dressed or the makeup I used or the way I carried myself...maybe, I was thinking, that it all shouted out for attention which I ended up getting. In the bargain, I forgot that it's a human right to be able to express myself in whichever way pleases me as long as it didn't affect others. It's my prerogative to look beautiful as it is for any woman (or man).
Terrorists are still among us and they demand that you submit to their every need. They could be the street thug or even the insecure boss who's being unfair to a colleague. Whatever it is, it's for you to recognize when this happens and take necessary action. Building one's self esteem by breaking another's is not the right way to regain confidence. Remember, keeping silent on seeing injustice makes us a criminal as much as the criminal himself.
You're probably wondering how I deal with such men. I use my perceived weakness as a strength. When such behavior is displayed, discipline is called for. In my case, it's getting discreetly physical, which is sometimes not so discreet. I just grab hold of the person's face, push them as much as my body allows, stand on their feet, nudge, poke or jab them and then apologise without meaning it in my expressions.
The non-physical way of doing this is staring them down, throwing disgusted looks, mouthing curse words, asking rhetorical questions like whether they have mothers & sisters at home or wondering aloud whether their parents taught them manners (if you're not from India, in Hindi this would be "Maa-baap nay tumeez nahi sikaya kya?")
Anything to bring down their confidence since that's the very precept by which they operate.
The day after it was announced that all those held hostage had been released, it was time for everyone to breath easy. I did my usual train routine to Bandra where I worked and the first thing I was privy to as soon as my feet touched the platform of this hip part of the city - catcalling or 'eve-teasing' as we call it in India and 'street harassment' as known everywhere.
It was then that it struck me, what I should have realised years ago. Street harassment stems from a low self-esteem and these men were doing it to raise their confidence. The confidence which had hit rock bottom on knowing that major haunts in the city, viz Taj, CST and Colaba were in the clutches of terrorists, and it would only be a matter of time that these men, dressed in black would break in and terrorize them. They must be trembling in their homes throughout the incident. I actually pitied them.
And here I was thinking that it was my fault. Thinking: maybe it was the way I dressed or the makeup I used or the way I carried myself...maybe, I was thinking, that it all shouted out for attention which I ended up getting. In the bargain, I forgot that it's a human right to be able to express myself in whichever way pleases me as long as it didn't affect others. It's my prerogative to look beautiful as it is for any woman (or man).
Terrorists are still among us and they demand that you submit to their every need. They could be the street thug or even the insecure boss who's being unfair to a colleague. Whatever it is, it's for you to recognize when this happens and take necessary action. Building one's self esteem by breaking another's is not the right way to regain confidence. Remember, keeping silent on seeing injustice makes us a criminal as much as the criminal himself.
You're probably wondering how I deal with such men. I use my perceived weakness as a strength. When such behavior is displayed, discipline is called for. In my case, it's getting discreetly physical, which is sometimes not so discreet. I just grab hold of the person's face, push them as much as my body allows, stand on their feet, nudge, poke or jab them and then apologise without meaning it in my expressions.
The non-physical way of doing this is staring them down, throwing disgusted looks, mouthing curse words, asking rhetorical questions like whether they have mothers & sisters at home or wondering aloud whether their parents taught them manners (if you're not from India, in Hindi this would be "Maa-baap nay tumeez nahi sikaya kya?")
Anything to bring down their confidence since that's the very precept by which they operate.
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